When Katie and I first started dating, we lived 607 miles away from each other. I lived near the beach in Florida and she lived on the top of a mountain in Georgia. Long distance relationships can be really difficult and because of the interconnected world we live in today, they have also become much more common. As I can personally attested though, they can work out in the end.
Katie and I used to spend long hours skyping and talking on the phone. We would pick a movie on Netflix and start a countdown over skype so we both could hit play at the same time. We saw each other maybe once a month, if we were lucky, and when we were together there was always that sad looming feeling that one of us would have to leave soon. Knowing when we could see each other again softened the emotional blow a little bit, but it was still so hard to say goodbye.
We both made one thing clear though, we were serious about the relationship and wouldn't let those 600+ miles get in the way of whatever God had planned for us. We had decided after much prayer that when we both had graduated from our respective schools, we would find a place where we could be together. Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, or someplace completely new.
After praying about it and God closing many doors, He gave us an answer. I was going to move to where Katie grew up, Gainesville, GA. At the time I didn't really know why it was going to be Gainesville, GA. I tried to get into UGA to continue my education, but God closed that door too and I was left a bit confused. Katie and I were both blessed to find really good jobs in Gainesville and on December 17th, of that year, I asked her to be my wife.
Things moved quickly from there and we were married on June 2nd of the next year. The next day we arrived at Amelia Island, where we were to spend our honeymoon week. Shortly after getting settled, my phone began to ring; it was my mom. Instantly I was worried. Mom wouldn't have called me on my honeymoon unless it was something extremely important. At first I just thought that maybe she had done it on accident, so I just let it ring. She left a voice mail and she wanted me to call back. I could tell from the urgency and tone that she was upset. My heart sank into my stomach.
When I called back I found out the terrible news that Donna, my mom’s best friend and a woman who was like my second mother to me, had unexpectedly passed away in the night. The day before she had been at our wedding. She was helping as she always did in the background, getting all sorts of things done. She even did my hair (which was looking kind of rough before the service). She was gone...
The Japanese believe that the soul of a man is in his abdomen, rather than in the heart (as other societies generally hold to). After hearing the news, I understood why the Japanese thought this. When you’re dealing with grief, it feels like a weighted emptiness has settled deep inside your belly. Katie and I still had an enjoyable time on Amelia Island, but that terrible feeling in my stomach never really left. Unfortunately, that heavy emptiness was going to visit again much sooner than we had ever hoped.
Six months after we were married, tragedy struck our new family. After what was supposed to be a routine procedure for endometriosis, we learned the terrible news that Kathy (Katie’s mom, my mother-in-law) had stage four cancer. It was a huge shock and surprise to all of us. It’s very difficult for me to talk about any of this. After a short and extremely difficult battle with the disease, she passed away 2 weeks after our first wedding anniversary. Kathy, a woman who had become a great friend to me and a new mother was gone...
I can't write anymore about this....
Looking back to the year before that, I realized that God put us in Gainesville, GA for a reason. We were married quickly for a reason. If we had waited for the average amount of time to wed, it would have been too late for Kathy to be a part of it. School didn't work out for me in Athens for a reason also. I needed to be there for my wife during those difficult times. Both of the jobs that had been provided for us were nearby and they were both very understanding to us about the situation.
I keep finding more and more pieces of the puzzle. When we got the answer concerning where we were supposed to be, there was no possible way we could have known those things before taking a leap of faith to move here. God sees and understands all of these things when we are only able to gaze upon the scattered and broken fragments to try and make sense of them.
I still don’t understand why these things have happened. There’s no way for me to explain why it’s okay that they did. All I can do is hold onto God and try to glorify Him in catastrophe.
Through tragedy, Katie and I have missed out on a lot of things that most newly wed couples do in their first year. I know thinking about that has been hard on both of us. But after going through such a difficult year, I believe we have come out of the furnace stronger as a couple. Many married people don’t have to go through things like this until they've been together for quite some time. I mean, Katie’s parents never went through it and my parents have only gone through it once. I think in our short time as a married couple, Katie and I have really come to understand what it really means to love unconditionally and despite circumstances.
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The Refiner's fire
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