Day 61: Worst Movie Ever

I knew nothing about the movie on Netflix before my friend and I hit the play button. See, whenever a big new video game came out, he and I would pull an all nighter. When it was time to put our controllers down and eat pizza, we would always pick out a terrible movie on netflix to watch while we did so. Movies like, Killer Clown From Outer Space, Rednecks vs Zombies, and Menace From Mars just to name a few.

Well when we started Troll 2 we had absolutely no idea what we were in for. The pure awfulness that is Troll 2 is endearing in a strange way. Mainly because of the fact that no one in the film acts like a real human. It was unsurprising to me when I found out later that the director hardly spoke any English at all. Not only is the dialog laughable, but the acting is so atrocious that it's difficult to imagine how the "actors" were chosen from the other 7 billion beings on this sphere we call earth. Events in the film unfold in a completely illogical and nonsensical manner that leaves the viewing audience confused, stupefied, and afraid of green food.


Yes a random and terrible dance scene spawns out of nowhere, accompanied by some of the worst 80's synthesized music of all time. Also at one point in the film a child decides that despite countless options available to a critically thinking human mind, he must solve a problem by urinating over the entirety of his family at the dinner table. Not to mention the fact the the movie is called Troll 2 and the word Troll isn't uttered even once. Not once! They call them goblins and they are the worst looking creatures you've ever seen. When I say that, I don't mean that they are scary or threatening in any way whatsoever. What I mean is that they're midgets wrapped in burlap bags with their faces shrouded with horribly designed rubber masks. Characters "bleed" or "sweat" green blood, when it is painfully obvious that there's someone pouring it on their heads from a squeeze-easy bottle.

The strangest thing about Troll 2 though is that fact that, in it's own bizarre way, it's so bad that it's good. It's the previously mentioned scenes that make the film so different than anything else, that it's actually enjoyable on a certain level. It contains the same random (albeit unintentional) sense of humor that is so prevalent across the internet. In fact, I believe that's one of the reasons that it has become a cult classic in the last couple years. Since it's re-emergence, it has spawned viewing events and fan groups all over the world. People have been calling it "The Best Worst Movie". There's even a spectacular documentary about it that was created by the guy who played the little boy.

So if you enjoy bad movies or random humor, I would highly suggest giving Troll 2 a try. Just don't eat the green food.