The Porch

Rain trickles slowly down the wind chimes, tracing their harsh contours like a musician's fingertips on a freshly-crafted instrument. The porch is a transitional zone from the comfort of the modern human indoor habitat to the wild untamed world just beyond its insulated walls. Rain dribbles, spouts, plops, and spits on the leaves and grass just beyond the breathable barrier.

Every frog's call and bug's practiced recitation is arranged to create a beautiful cacophony for the audience held in the porch. Deep thrumming of a cat's purr and the swish of pages turning in an unread book join the orchestra outside, creating the very essence of contentment in auditory form. Flickering candles mirrored on a glass table add to the visual flourish, composed against a dark and stormy sky.

Raindrops follow their kinsmen blindly down and over the precipice of the roof only to be gathered in a plastic pitcher. An Ikea water pitcher that is meant to be poured into the life-giving soil of plants happily trapped in the covered passage between inside and out. The distant rolling thunder evokes images of past storms viewed from the daring confines of the screened sanctuary.






 


 

Monolith Part III

 Part I and Part II


The girl followed Monolith (as she decided to call him) back into the cylindrical room and away from the dark voices outside. She curled up in the makeshift bed and with a tinge of initial hesitation, drifted away into a world where the dark shapes and perilous voices couldn't exist.

She awoke with a start at the uproarious sound of crumbling bricks as they clamored to the ground in startling subsequence. The tower was often shedding its inner-skin in such a manner. It was old and rotten, like a decaying tooth fixed in a filthy moss-ridden mouth. She clutched the old quilt and backed into the wall, away from the falling stone. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for her guardian. She saw no sign of him. The flames had died out and all that remained of the previous blaze were a few small tendrils of smoke that slowly escaped the dim coals and powdery white ash.

She finished off what was left of the dark soup, despite it being cold and hardened, and ventured out of the spire. Rain slowly drizzled through the air, coating everything in a glossy sheen. The rain somehow made the swamp smell worse as she, who had become accustomed to the stench, curled her nose in disapproval. Despite the odor, the falling water was refreshing. She dabbed her eyes with her sleeve as the water loosened the mud that had affixed like chocolate icing to her skin. Little streams and tributaries of clear water formed and wound their way around her muddy facade. She looked around for Monolith, but he was nowhere to be seen. 

The rain turned the ever-still glassy water into a crowd of clamoring ripples as she moved towards the long forgotten remains of an old wooden dock. She leaned over to look at her reflection as she often did, in an attempt to remember who she was. The swamp water was far too tumultuous to allow her reflection to peer back at her. She sighed in annoyance and got back to her feet. The girl thought she heard a distant sound echo through the bayou. She straightened up in instant alertness, reminded of the voices in the darkness the night before, but the sound was more akin to a large boom than a shrill whisper. She started walking towards where she guessed the sound came from, intrigued now more than afraid.

She saw something move on the ground and narrowly avoided stepping on it as her foot came down. It was a giant, bulbous toad. He was so fat and lazy that he hardly protested as she reached down, wrapped her fingers around his fatty frame and lifted him up. She held him level with her face and moved her lips as if to say something, but stopped as she recalled her last attempt at speaking. Instead she stared intently at the plump creature, in an effort to converse with her mind as she would have with Monolith. It didn't work on the toad though. She carefully lowered him from her face and placed his large girth in her biggest dress pocket. His massive head and tiny little arms poked out in the open as he blinked in what might have been annoyance, but was probably more likely confusion at the sudden abduction. 

That sound. She had forgotten about what she was doing and where she was going. It was easy in the swamp to succumb to its dense sprawl and begin to wander aimlessly like many of its inhabitants. Perhaps the dark figures were once people who had purposelessly traveled in the swamp for so long that they had transformed into the bayou's dark and muddled captives, devoid of thought or love. Nameless, faceless, mud-caked beings fated to patrol the humid swamp for eternity. The girl shuttered at the thought and once again remembered that she was following the elusive sound. 

The more distance that was drawn between her and the tower, the more easily distracted she became. She became concerned about the toad sticking out of her pocket. He looked less lively than he did when she first picked him up. His wide head was now drooping slightly and his eyes would close for a while and then flutter open again as his rotund body bounced with her gait. The girl wondered if he was hungry, or maybe thirsty. She stopped by the water's edge and cupped her small hands together to scoop some of the dark water for the toad. Small eyes of harmless swamp creatures, floating just above the surface, watched as she did so. When presented to the toad, the offer was refused. She lifted a small rock to reveal several worms and maggots wriggling underneath as they were disturbed by the sudden and unexpected arrival of light. Boom. There was the sound again. Right, that's what she was doing. Follow the sound.

Seventy-Two Days

 
You may or may not have noticed, but my 100 day blog challenge came to a screeching halt after day 72. While I certainly enjoyed the challenge and benefited from the creative outlet it provided, I found myself giving up on it after facing a non-related event that temporarily defeated the creative side of me. I'm not done blogging though, I'm just done with the challenge.

Some days I didn't feel like writing about anything and forced myself to find something to jot down or go on about. I really think that overcoming writer's block was a great exercise with the challenge though. I also felt like there were many other subjects that I wanted to expand upon, but because of trying to create one post a day I was unable to pour the required time into it. Those larger projects were either swept to the side to make way for a smaller post for that day, or they would be watered down to the point where it became unrecognizable from the original thoughts that formed in my head. Either way, I think having some flexibility will be great.

Day 72: Allergies

 

As the trees are blooming and regaining their life and color, I can feel that old familiar sensation creeping through my nostrils and into my sinus cavity. My eyes slowly begin to swell and fill with water as a small tingling headache wraps its roots deep into the back of my neck, preparing to grow quickly into a full-fledged beast.

Although rain has currently grounded the floating allergens for a few days, it's only a matter of time before the dampness dissipates and they are free to take to the sky again in search of sensitive noses. That horrid yellow powdery substance that causes so much pain and discomfort; the byproduct of new life that hinders and irritates the lives of those affected most by it.    

Day 71: Ryse: Son of Rome Review

 
Ryse: Son of Rome is a third person fighting game from the creators of Crysis and Far Cry. Just like the aforementioned works, Ryse is a viscerally beautiful experience. If you're new to the Xbox One console, then this is a great game to show off what the next gen hardware can do. The environments are as detailed as any film set and the frame-rate and motion blur create an epically cinematic-like experience.

Unfortunately not everything about the game is as top notch as the graphics. While the flow of movement and controls are great, the actual gameplay quickly becomes repetitive. At a point about half way through the 4+ hours of campaign, you have already learned how to do everything in the game and have faced off with all of the enemy variations. While the quick time executions are enjoyable at first, they do become someone monotonous as you begin to see repeats of the same animations over and over.

The story however remains on-par with the high bar that the graphics set. Even though it is cliche and draws a lot of inspiration from the 2000 film Gladiator, there is something extremely rewarding and compelling about it. The characters are believable and the dialog is excellently delivered by the voice actors. A major part of the story's believability has to do with the setting itself. The locations that you visit feel real and even though you're usually restricted to a certain path, there are so many details in the distance that it's mind boggling.


Objectionable Content


Violence
Limbs are hacked off, blood sprays and occasional beheadings all occur in the game. There's no option to turn off the gore or any way to avoid it. It's not as over the top as it could be, but it is a pervasive element of the game.

Language
A few F-bombs are dropped and there's a smattering of other swear words throughout the game, most of which occur during the cinematics.

Sex/Nudity
There is one graphic scene of sex and nudity, as topless women are dancing for the Emperor's son. It's the only instance in the game and it's shockingly unnecessary.
  
Conclusion
While the game is definitely an enjoyable jaunt into an entrancing time period, fueled by jaw-dropping graphics and beautiful landscapes, there really isn't enough of Ryse to keep you coming back for more after you've completed the 4+ hour campaign. There is a multiplayer component, but I found it to be more of an added afterthought from the developers. If the objectionable content doesn't concern you, then I would recommend renting Ryse, if for nothing else than to revel in its beautiful state-of-the-art graphics and well-wrought story. 

3 / 5 Stars
+ Outstanding graphics
+ Cliche, but entertaining story
-  Repetitive and simple gameplay
-  Unnecessary nudity 

 
 

Day 70: The Desert

I love the desert. Ever since I traversed its dry crumbling landscape as a child I have been enthralled with the vast openness of the sand strewn wasteland. I have tried to capture a part of the desert in my own home by holding captive some of its succulents in my own minuscule contained desert terra. They pale in comparison to the massive saguaro cacti that stand as monuments in the Arizona desert as they watch day turn into night for a 100+ years. But the desert still lives on in my own habitat. 

I became very well acquainted with the colorful red stone of the desert as the tires of my bike tore across it for many days in a predetermined path. I stopped to lunch under rocky overhangs of smooth red pinnacles as the rainless clouds passed by swiftly overhead. I've climbed up the craggy faces of stone with nothing but a piece of rope to save me from a quick drop and sudden stop ending of the smooth sandstone.

I don't know if I would ever want to call it home, but I do love to visit the arid land. 

   

Day 69: Six Reasons Why Groundhogs Are Evil

Since moving to Georgia, I have on more than one occasion crossed paths with the terrifying plump furry little burrow digging creatures. It's really my only regret about moving up here; having to share the same red turf with these furry nightmare beings. Here are seven reasons why I abhor these cat-sized rodents.  



1. The Black Eyes and Vacant Stare

The Great White Shark and the Groundhog has something in common. It's the black dead-eyed stare of a man-eating predator. This is probably one of the main issues I have with groundhogs (well and manatees too if I'm being honest). Their coal colored pupiless eyes are designed to strike fear into anyone considering themselves to be a human. 



2. The Terrifyingly Insidious Teeth

Like all rodents, the groundhog's teeth are continually growing. That's creepy enough for me, but no they smile at you as you drive or walk by. Showing their hideous fangs as a threat. There's just so much not right with that.



3. The Ability to Predict the Future

They have magical abilities that seem to have entranced certain humans into believing that they can accurately predict future weather patterns. Once again, I think the cold black stare is imbued with certain hypnotic powers. Even if that's not the case, then the idea that they actually can tell the future is equally as terrifying. I don't want no magic over-sized rodent psychic living in my back yard. No thank you!    



4. The Way Their Fat Little Bodies Stand, Motionless

They love to sit by the road, like fat furry little bowling pins and watch spitefully as you drive by in your car. They're just waiting for you to break down so that can exact their revenge for their fallen brethren that litter the roadsides of our great state.


5. The Sound They Make 

Apparently a nickname for these living nightmares is a "whistle pig". Really? That's what you're gonna call them? They don't even look like pigs. Well, maybe if you shaved one, but that's the last thing you want to do to one of these critters. It could go poorly for you. No I guess they call them that because of the terrible whistling sound they make. The last thing I want to hear when I'm out walking is a whistling sound now. If I hear that I'm running!



6. They Will Survive Through The Apocalypse

Groundhogs and incredibly immune to most diseases and sicknesses. So when the bubonic plague rears its ugly head, all that will be left in the world is Twinkies, cockroaches and groundhogs. Planet of The WHISTLING PIGS YALL!!!! 



That is all

Day 68: The One

 
I've been saving up for over a year for an Xbox One, but due to medical bills and other unforeseen expenses I had to dip into my gaming fund several times for less than fun reasons. Well I almost had enough saved up again and because Katie and I worked so hard to clean our town home before we moved, we received our full deposit. That in turn enabled me to have enough money to make up for the amount I stole from.

The timing worked out great too because I was able to not only get an Xbox One, but to get the Titanfall bundle which was the same price as the regular Xbox. It came boxed with a digital download for the full game. When it arrived I was really really excited and started opening the box and setting everything up. I was reminded of the last time that I did that with a new console.

It was the night of November 22nd 2005, I was exhausted from going to work at 4:30 every morning and putting hours and hours of overtime each week out at the space center. Despite that my dad, my best friend, and his dad all went to the midnight launch for the Xbox 360. It was a memorable occasion despite my level of tiredness and the fact that Brandon and I almost getting mugged in Walmart. Oh Titusville......

Unfortunately this time I could only set my new console up to a certain point. Xbox Live wasn't letting me sign in, which essentially meant that it was unusable because I couldn't download the game or any apps. I guess it was because so many people did the same thing I did and bought the bundle and then everyone tried to sign in or create accounts at the same time. Thus the epic and terribly timed crash. I was pretty annoyed and kept trying to log on the rest of the night to no avail.It was working in the morning though, so before work I got it all set up and started putting a ton of things on the download queue. 

So far the new system has really impressed me. I was blown away by the accuracy of the voice commands and gesture controls. It really does feel futuristic being able to so adeptly control something with your voice. I'm sure I'll find myself attempting to talk to my other devices soon. All of the entertainment applications like Netflix and Amazon are great too and terrifyingly quick.

As far as games go, I only got to play the training section and one quick match of Titanfall. I'll probably do another blog post concerning my thoughts on it once I play it a bit more. 
  

Day 67: Five TV Crossovers That Must Happen

Deadtown Abbey

Downton Abbey + The Walking Dead

Forget the trivial everyday problems of spoiled British upper class snobs. Just add a zombie apocalypse to the mix for some exciting results. Instead of Carson worrying himself to death over whether or not they will have a third footman at dinner, how about unleashing a few walkers upon said dinner party. 

Of course Mr Bates saves the day as he reveals that his cane, is in fact a fully loaded shotgun. An American visitor named Rick also has a few tricks up his sleeve as he handily dispatches the undead menace. Thomas takes advantage of the situation (as always) to save himself by using Daisy and the rest of the kitchen staff as bait for the ensuing hoard.

Cousin Mathew takes off with the car full of refugees, which ends up in reality being a terrible idea. Because, as we know, Mathew has issues with distraction at the wheel. And that's all I have to say about that... (In my best Forrest Gump voice).   

*SPOILER ALERT*

Nobody knows how the zombie epidemic started at Downton, but evidence points to Lady Grantham possibly being a walker all along.

 

Sherlock Bones

Sherlock + Bones

Bones and Booth chase the criminal mastermind Christopher Pellant to Great Britain. Upon arriving there they meet a greatcoat and scarf-wearing detective who is also searching for the same man. Except Sherlock calls him Moriarty (really they do look like the same person, did anyone else think that too?).

Both Bones and Sherlock clash epically as they both suffer from exceedingly brilliant minds and are also high functioning sociopaths. In the end they're both forced the jump off of a building in front of John and Booth. On the flip side though, in the two years that Sherlock and Bones are in hiding after faking their deaths, John Hamish Watson and Booth hit it off brilliantly and form a life-long transcontinental friendship while dealing with their grief.

Did you miss me? 

Breaking Brady

Breaking Bad + The Brady Bunch.

 

Here’s a story about a lovely lady...

After the financial weight of supporting 9 humans in his overpopulated household, Tom Brady befriends a young street-smart entrepreneur named Jessie Pinkman. At first he attempts to treat him like one of his three sons and set him on the right path, but because of his urgent need for money Tom winds up cooking meth with Jessie. Fortunately for the both of them, Tom is an architect and designs hidden rooms in all of his building projects so that they always have a new place to cook meth. Things are going great and cash is flowing until the pair catch the attention of the local drug cartel, run by Sam the butcher.

Things go downhill quickly for the family in this very very Brady cautionary tale about money, drugs, and the underground world of illegal distribution.   

Once Upon a Mayberry

The Andy Griffith Show + Once Upon a Time 

Instead of the evil queen Regina sending all of the fairy tale characters to the town of Storybrooke, the curse accidentally transports them to the black and white classic American town of Mayberry. Sheriff Andy, Barney, and the rest of the town are shocked as they are invaded by the colorful (literally) folk of fantasy.  But with family trees that branch and intersect in alarming ways, the folks from the other side fit right in with the deep southern town. 

Opie is the first one to realize that the new arrivals are just like the ones from his stories and he quickly sets things in motion to defeat the evil queen and return things to normal for the visitors.

Fortunately for poor overworked sheriff Andy, captain tight-pants (aka Emma) decides to help out as a deputy. Unfortunately for her though, Andy only lets her keep one bullet in the revolver.




The Firefly Hillbillies
The Beverly Hillbillies + Firefly

Old Jed Clampet was out huntin' for some food one day when he heard something overhead. A massive spaceship landed near him and a brown coat-wearing captain offered him and his family travel away from their perilously poor lifestyle. They grabbed their belongings, packed up in old wooden trunks, and boarded the ship with all of their earthly belongings (and several critters that Elly May snuck aboard). 

Besides consuming almost all of their rations (I'm looking at you Jethro), the Clampets were a welcome addition the the crew of the Serenity. Even though the ship smelled strangely of possum stew since their arrival. River took a particular interest in the animals brought on board by Elly May and Book instantly liked the down-to-earth nature of Jed. Granny may not have been the happiest crew member, but she was the only one who could keep Jayne under control at all times. 

Sadly, they all met a terrible and premature end because of a rabid Fox that Elly May brought on board the ship. 

See what I did there?   

 

Day 66: World of What the What?

 
It was on a whim that my best friend Brandon and I decided to give World of Warcraft a try. With a free 15 day trial it only seemed natural to install it; the only investment was the time downloading and the precious hard drive space it would take up. Neither of us were big into MMO's (Massive Multiplayer Online games). We played Final Fantasy Online a bit when that came out on the Xbox and also messed around with a few free-to-play MMO's on the PC, but we definitely weren't MMO players.

After installing the game, Brandon and I got on our headsets and started the journey of creating our virtual avatars. Right off the bat we were met with the quandary of choosing a faction. There were two of them to pick from. There was the Alliance, which were the "good" guys. Their various races consisted of Elves, Dwarfs, Gnomes, and Humans. You know the standard good-guy fantasy thoroughfare. On the flip side there was The Horde, which was comprised of Orcs, Trolls, The Undead, and giant Minotaur creatures called Tauren. 

Neither of us knew anything at all about the game going into it, so we just took a blind stab and decided to go with The Alliance. Why not? Out of all of the choices of race and class we both decided to take on the roles of Elf Hunters. The next decision was that of a server. The server is basically where your character "lives" and there are different types of servers depending on the way that you want to play. Once again, knowing nothing about MMO's, we chose a PVP server. PVP means player versus player. We didn't know it yet, but that was one of our first major mistakes.

Soon after making our fateful choices, we were thrust into a world we knew hardly anything about. A quick introduction cut scene played, giving a brief overview about the race of elves and the war between The Alliance and The Horde. After that was finished, the controls were handed over to us. All MMO's have a starting area (or zone) which is designed to acclimate the player to the controls and game mechanics by participating in and completing menial tasks. Being veteran gamers, that part seemed pretty straight forward so we ventured on.

Once you've learned all of the basics and completed several quests, then it's time to leave the safety of the starting zone and travel to the mainland where anything goes. There the game no longer holds your hand and the only thing keeping you from dying a horrible and embarrassing newbie's death, is your wits and also how fast you can run. We boarded a large ship that pulled up to the dock of the Elven Kingdom and began the voyage to the mainland. 

After a quick loading screen we found ourselves in a place aptly dubbed "Darkshore". It was a very different looking place from the colorful and vibrant forests of the Elven homeland we left behind. It was dark, muddy, and drab as we explored the little town there. We picked up some quests in the town and started working on them. We saw very few other people and most of them were as low level as us and also looked as about lost as we did. We figured out how to chat with other people and even had one guy who did a few quests with us. 

We finished completing a difficult quest and were walking on the road back into town to when we saw something huge stomping down the path toward us. It was one of the aforementioned Taurens, and compared to us he was huge. We were probably level 10 or so and above his name we saw that he was a whopping level 50. I quoted a line from The Fellowship of the Ring (you know which one) and then we scrambled off the road and behind some trees, hoping that he hadn't seen us. We stood still and tried to peek out to see if the minotaur had altered his course. Nothing. We found ourselves whispering to each other, even though there was no way that he could hear us through our headsets. 

Finally he appeared right behind us, making us both yell in surprise. He stood over us, with massive his gleaming armor and a two-handed sword that was bigger than both of us. He had invariably spent hours upon hours attaining his epic protective coating and gargantuan weapon. There was one swift strike and Brandon's character fell dead to the ground, then another slash and my elf hit the forest floor in the same manner. What happened next was a nerd-rage inducing series of unfortunate events. When your character dies in World of Warcraft you turn into a little blue wisp of a ghost and you can either be resurrected by another player, or you're forced to go to a graveyard and come back to life there. 

We went to the nearby graveyard and resurrected only to find that the Tauren was right there waiting for us. He knew exactly where we would be. In two more slashes we were transformed into ghosts once more. This happened over and over and over. That was when we learned about the word "gank" and what it meant, because that's exactly what was happening to us. We were getting ganked. That was until, the oversize cow decided that he had had his fun and left us and disappeared into the forest. We had unwittingly joined a sever that was home to mostly high level players and to top it off, it was a player versus player realm which meant that it was open season 24/7 for noobs like us.

After getting ganked, Brandon and I decided that we needed to buy some better weapons and gear to defend ourselves. Up until that point we were using staffs and bows. Not really the greatest weapons when facing dangerous foes and forest creatures like bears and mountain lions. What we both really needed and wanted were some nice long swords. They had them for sale in the town and we bought them, but unfortunately they required weapon training in order to use them. So I grabbed the first person I saw in town and started chatting with them to find out where we could go get training. He was a much higher level and seemed very knowledgeable about the game. He told me that there was a place on this continent called "Orgrimmar" where we could go get sword training. He left us and we prepared for an epic quest to a distant city, in order to be trained in the ways of the blade.

To be continued...